Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
