My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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