that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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