he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
