Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
