There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Randomize
