Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
