apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
