I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
