I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
