The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
