Yo dont text me then not text me
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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