you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
