It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
