I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
