I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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