I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
