Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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