We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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