hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
