So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
