I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
