i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
