Soap is not a condiment
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
