Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize