I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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