I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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