You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
