I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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