if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
