Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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