Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
