I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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