So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
