So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
as a side note pls kill me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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