if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
