Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
