I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
