Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
