One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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