Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
