Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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