she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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