Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
