you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
