He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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