we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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