I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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