the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
