i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
