No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
