this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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