My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
