i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Everyone says I win the strip club
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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