idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
