ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
