Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
