Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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