No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
