***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
