her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
