Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize