i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He kissed a someone with a penis
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize