If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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