Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
