the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
