I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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