dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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