You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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