Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
