Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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