i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize